An international government agency needed communications training for its key leaders to improve their ability to influence and inspire. They had the difficult challenge of needing to persuade the minds of their countries’ elected officials to change a bureaucratic practice within the public health sector. This important change would ultimately save the lives of the country’s citizens.  

Decker led a 2-day custom workshop paired with individual coaching to hone the skills. The session was incredibly memorable, with all participants displaying raw honesty from the start and not holding back about the difficulties they were facing in their work. Change management, particularly when it relates to life and health topics, often comes with intense discussions and opposing points of view. One of the biggest concerns that came up is “How can one still convey warmth when discussing intense topics?”

The importance of conveying warmth is powerful not only for intense discussions but in all of our communications in order to influence with courage and conviction. “Warmth is the differentiating factor,” says Loran Nordgren, an associate professor of management and organizations at the Kellogg School. He cites a Zenger Folkman study that looked at 50,000 managers and found that a leader’s overall effectiveness is predicted more by warmth than competence. “If you’re seen as low-warmth, you have something like a 1-in-2000 chance to make the top quartile of effectiveness as a leader.”

Here are our best practices for conveying warmth during difficult conversations by being open, curious, and positive.

• Create a Warm Environment
  Most of us believe people judge us based on credibility 1st, but they judge warmth first – do I like you, do I trust you? Creating a warm, trusting environment will immediately connect you with your audience. They will be more inclined to trust you early on if you are being genuine. Building trust is essential when attempting to persuade an audience. 
• Build Positive Relationships
  Think of warmth as “building positive relationships.” Try creating a list of people to connect with and start by setting up a time to reach out to them. Be intentional about showing you care. According to Nordgren, cultivating warmth is about being purposeful, setting aside the time, and thinking carefully about how to build relationships with people, rather than simply trusting that your natural warmth will win them over. “The way to get comfortable with building relationships strategically is to think of it as an obligation rather than self-promotion,” Nordgren says. “If you see your role as one that requires building positive relationships, then this is something that makes sense to devote your energy to.”
• More than a Smile
  Many people assume that warmth means smiling and being positive, but this is not necessarily true. Warmth can be as simple as being empathetic, interested, and/or present when communicating with your audience. It’s everything; your facial expressions, body language, and openness. One way to show warmth is to make someone feel like they are the most important person in the room – both in how you listen and the tone you use when you speak.
• Let the Eyes Speak
  Strong eye communication helps listeners to connect with the speaker. Your confidence when speaking will still glow from your eyes even if you are not smiling, just as long as you are earnest.
• Ask questions
  Empathy and understanding are key to warmth. The key is trying to understand the perspective and emotions of the other person. Ask questions, using empathic statements like “I can understand.”  

Next time you are addressing or persuading a new crowd, make sure to keep warmth in mind.