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Posts Tagged With: "Eye contact"

A little eye communication goes a long way for WOMM

Bert DeckerPosted by Bert Decker   |   November 3rd, 2009   |   4 Comments   |  Tweet This

6a00d8341d71f353ef0120a599f079970cLast week I wrote on various aspects of eye communication. A couple of experiences prompt me to write again – on how eye communication impacts word of mouth marketing.

And how important is word of mouth marketing?

  • 80% of reviews are positive…because people want to share things they enjoy. Known as the “J-Curve”
  • 90% of people who write reviews do so to help other people.
  • In 2007, “Trust in someone like me” tripled, which trust in companies dropped. (Think of what it is today!)

(For more stats, check out Bazaarvoice – the leader in WOMM)

Last week, I became a disgruntled customer at my local market because an order I had placed a week before had yet to be filled, and I was having friends over that night. I went there and the manager looked me directly in the eye throughout our conversation. As a result, I found myself calming down, seeking to work towards resolution. In the end, I left the establishment satisfied and eager once again to recommend the place to others.

Then recently I walked in to a store as a potential new customer, prepared to spend some good money to update a few home furnishings. Rather than engage me while discussing options in the store, the salesperson completely avoided eye contact, looking at my watch, my clothes, and pretty much anywhere else he could other than my eyes.

Combined with a generally unpleasant demeanor, this lack of eye contact cost this business not only a sale but also any positive word of mouth marketing. Being a small, specialty store in my neighborhood my negative experience leads me to give less-than-positive reviews to my friends in the community – bad WOMM.

As communicators, we have a toolbox of behavioral skills we enlist to communicate effectively; of all the skills in our toolbox, eye communication is the most important. As I wrote in You’ve Got to be Believed to be Hearyouve-got-to-be-believed-to-be-heard-300x457d:

“Eye communication ranks first because it has the greatest impact in both one-on-one communications and large group communications. It literally connects mind to mind, since your eyes are the only part of your central nervous system that is in direct contact with another human being. When your eyes meet the eyes of another person, you make a First-Brain-to-First-Brain connection. When you fail to make that connection, it matters very little what you say.”

My point?

With the growth of the Web 2.0 generation – focusing on branding and marketing through social media et al – the significance of powerful, effective interpersonal communication often gets lost in the shuffle.

WOMM reflects the reputation of a brand – a reputation built on communication experiences. Interpersonal communication is still the basis of a reputation. And the primary communication skill that can make or break a positive communication experience (and thus, a reputation) is eye communication.

Remember your eye communication next time you’re trying to make a sale, or just sell yourself; your WOMM is on the line.


Categories: Books, Communication Skills, Twitter and Social Media, Web/Tech
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Eye Contact, Eye Communication and Eye Roll

Bert DeckerPosted by Bert Decker   |   October 25th, 2009   |   8 Comments   |  Tweet This

Eye Quote Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • Two weeks ago a speaker looked down at his TV monitor most of the time, and glanced fleetingly at the audience.
  • Last week a sales person looked me in the eye when he explained how the camera worked, and I believed him when he said he wouldn’t bargain.
  • The other night my wife made a comment, and unfortunately I gave one of my (rare) eye rolls, and she picked me off.

At Decker we teach and preach six behavioral skills – they have nothing to do with content and everything to do with establishing confidence, trust and authenticity. The most important of these is eye communication.

eye contact 2Clients often ask us what is the difference between eye contact and eye communication.

Eye contact is fleeting. It can be in passing, just a glance or a fraction of a second. It can be eyes flitting across an audience not really connecting. It could turn into a form of connection, but it isn’t necessarily communication.

Eye communication is connection – think of eye contact on steroids.  It’s the act of two pairs of eyes connecting and the contact leading to communication.  Eye communication involves more extended eye contact (at least 3-5 seconds for speakers communicating to a group) that forms a bond between two people.  As a speaker communicating to an audience, eye communication is the key to engaging with your audience.  It makes your presentation more like a conversation than a pitch.

Eye communication:

  • establishes rapport
  • strengthens listener involvement
  • contributes to a higher retention leveleye contact
  • increases your ability to persuade

A successful communications experience requires engaged eye communication.  If the listeners’ ears are open but their eyes are closed, no connection can be made.  Eye communication is the key.

On the other hand, eye roll is discounting what the other person said. It is a put-down, and is actually much stronger a put-down than we tend to think. Often after an eye roll is picked off by the other party we hear the reply, “But I didn’t say anything.”

Look at this classic case of disdain shown by the many eye rolls (and other behaviors) from the TV show, The Apprentice:

“To make oneself understood to the people, one must first speak to their eyes.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

Don’t just make contact, communicate with your eyes. Positively.


Categories: Communication Skills, Leadership and Communications, Public Speaking
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