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Posts Tagged With: "Blink"

Master the Art of Telegraphing

Posted by Kelly Decker   |   September 24th, 2009   |   1 Comment   |  Tweet This

Hi all, @kellydecker here…

Think telegraphing is outdated? Think again.

When’s the last time you got a telegraph? Well, if you’ve interacted with anyone in the last ten minutes – a coworker, friend, boss or even your kids, you definitely got one. And I bet that you sent a couple in the process.

I’m a big John Madden fan. He’s the kind of authentic communicator that makes you want to buy him a beer, sit back, and listen to his stories. So I do (minus the beer) – usually right about the time I take the Fremont exit during my commute into the city – on The Daily Madden, his 8.5 minute gig on KCBS at 8:15am. Today he and the great Tony LaRussa were talking about the typical random and rambling banter of this segment when they turned to the topic of telegraphs. (Listen to the segment here.)

Telegraphing in baseball is common. Turns out that pitchers do it all the time.

LaRussa says that pitchers “get in these habits wherein they start their delivery and they let you know what they’re going to throw. The hitter sees that and they know what’s coming.”

This is pretty amazing. It means that the batter, who is standing 60 feet away, can look at how the pitcher raises his arm, grabs the ball and holds the glove and then that batter can figure out exactly how to hit the ball. They read telegraphs to their advantage, and to literally hit it out

of the park. Don’t know about you, but I’ve got a new found respect for ball players.

LaRussa continues, “Some guys are great at seeing it – it can be really just a glimpse of something…and some can’t, unless it’s really obvious.” And it’s becoming more important. “There’s a legitimate study going on in every big league team more every year at reading pitchers’ little quirks and tips.”

Sounds like business communications to me. Telegraphing is happening in nearly every interaction that you have, and you’d better get good at sending and reading those messages.

master4On the sender side, there’s nothing that will help you more than video. Just like in baseball (and any other sport for that matter – which is why the best athletes just keep getting better and better), you’ve got to “break down tape.” Until you get yourself on video, you probably have no clue how or what you do in your daily communications. What signals are you sending that either help or hinder your listener to do something with your message? It’s about making what is unconscious to you (your habits, quirks, ‘tells’)…conscious.

And if you can learn to read the telegraphs, you’ve got a game changer on your hands. Whether it’s selling a customer, delivering a performance appraisal, hiring a new team member, or talking with a friend – you’ll be well served to pick up on their telegraphs and respond appropriately. Here’s are a few ways to learn:

  • Read Blink. Malcolm Gladwell’s great best seller on how and why we make judgments in the blink of an eye.
  • Watch/Listen to your kids: They can’t help but wear their heart on their sleeve. Even though it’s obvious (and pretty funny) it’s a great way to get tuned into telegraphing in general.
  • For fun…watch a game of No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em. These guys and gals are good at reading “tells”, and really good at hiding them. At least watch (or re-watch for the umpteenth time) the movie Rounders and learn how even an Oreo cookie can be a downfall.

Categories: Communication Skills, Leadership and Communications
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The Power of Story

Posted by Bert Decker   |   July 5th, 2009   |   17 Comments   |  Tweet This

At a recent speech the presenter before me started out withstories a story, followed by another, and another. All linked to points. Brilliant, and so rare in business presentations today. He warmed up the audience, and I was grateful.

“Story” is the S of our SHARP principles. Story is also the primary tool in making your message stick, as in Chip and Dan Heath’s great book “Made To Stick.” And in the vernacular of Malcolm Gladwell – story makes ANY idea stick, and if you haven’t read his great book get “Blink.”

The Top Ten Reasons stories are useful and powerful:

  • They are real
  • They are short
  • They are interesting
  • They are human
  • They give third party credibility
  • They are easy to tell
  • They are memorable
  • They are emotionally connecting
  • They move people
  • They are the principle communication tool since Man began talking

What Others Say

To be a person is to have a story to tell.
-Isak Dinesen

The story is more important to me than the part.
-Catherine Deneuve

Of course it’s the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
-Margaret Thatcher

A compelling story, even if factually inaccurate, can be more emotionally compelling than a dry recitation of the truth.
- Frank Luntz (Communication Specialist in language – also a political consultant)

Eighty percent of our life is emotion, and only 20 percent is intellect. I am much more interested in how you feel than how you think. I can change how you think, but how you feel is something deeper and stronger, and it’s something that’s inside you.
- Frank Luntz

From Todd Paulsen, here is some of the power of story, and the reason behind it (see the complete article here):

“THE USE OF STORIES IS A POWERFUL TOOL that aids in material retention, but methodologies of inclusion are rarely discussed. The desire to share emotions and effect the emotional states of others drives us to tell and retell stories. A story is a vector that spreads the information and emotion that is contained within it. No classroom or teacher is needed past the initial storytelling. We have been doing this for years in the form of childrens stories. It has been widely speculated that the story of Hantzel and Gretel (sic) is a cautionary tale used by elders to prevent children from wandering off into the dangers of the European forests alone.”

Jesus told stories and parables. He didn’t talk in concepts – he only needed stories, and he riveted peoples attention. Sowing seeds along the path, the rich young ruler, a house built on sand, faith growing like a mustard seed, and dozens more.

Remember, people buy on emotion and justify with fact.

A great resource for getting great at telling stories is Doug Stevenson’s Story Theatre – after our “Communicate To Influence” program this is one to take – it pays as a communicator to get serious about storytelling.

Create YOUR communication experience – stories will add mightily.


Categories: Communication Skills, SHARPs and Stories
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The Visual Dominates – Mehrabian Revisited

Posted by Bert Decker   |   June 5th, 2009   |   13 Comments   |  Tweet This

Am There's been a lot of unfortunate controversy among communication professionals about Professor Albert Mehrabian's oft quoted research (below). It's good to have discussion though, for his research has altered the communicating landscape and has helped to get people out of the 'curse of knowledge.' Here are my thoughts and personal experience on the issue:

Mehrabian wrote the classic "Silent Messages" in 1981 (2nd Ed). From this book came the research that shows vocal and visual outweigh the verbal when you have a conflicted message. The weight is at the feeling level ('likability'), not at the informational level. His exact numbers were:

  • Verbal 7% (the word, or words, or message)
  • Vocal 38% (the sound of the voice)
  • Visual 55% (what people see)

For extensive background on the research detail and methodology see the links here. Olivia Mitchell did her usual thorough job of research also, although I disagree with her conclusions. And to not make this post too long, let me hit on what I think are the critical points.

1. Mehrabian's research was only on the inconsistent message! When your message and your tone and your look are one, are congruent – Mehrabian is irrelevant. He was measuring what the listener judged more important in 'liking' (and thus trusting, believing, being open to) when there was inconsistency and incongruence between the message and the behavior. This is the critical issue.

2. Many say that Mehrabian's findings mean content is worth 7% of the message and 'body language' is worth 93%. Totally wrong. The research was not at the information level. It was at
the feeling level. And it just measured what channel the listener liked (trusted, believed) more than the other. Many bloggers have pointed this out by now – so hopefully at least that misinterpretation should be put to rest.

3. The visual dominates! The most important takeaway is that when there is an inconsistent message, the listener will overwhelmingly judge the visual cues more as to whether they like (trust and believe) the speaker. And realize all this happens at the unconscious level.

Let me amplify:

Dr. Mehrabian Interview
When I interviewed Dr. Mehrabian
at his UCLA offices in Los Angeles in May of 1981 on his findings, I
learned a lot.

Mehrabian Albert

Here is one of his quotes from my June, 1981 newsletter
(no blogs in those days):

"It's true we say that non-verbal
is more important than the verbal when it comes to conveying emotions
and attitudes. Now I cannot say to you non-verbally that my check book
is in my desk drawer at home on the left hand side. That's information.

"So we have to be very careful to make that distinction. But when we
are talking on the emotional level, attempting to be persuasive,
getting across information in an important way, here the non-verbal
elements of our speech become more important in the impact that we
have."

Which leads into one of my favorite findings:

People buy on emotion and justify with fact

In my book "You've Got To Be Believed To Be Heard" I write about the importance of the emotions – the feeling level – in all our communications. It is very powerful, and works at the First Brain (emotional brain, limbic system) level. And as I point out in my book, the eye sensory input is by far the most important nerve pathway to the emotional First Brain (25 times larger than auditory). Not only does the visual dominate, visual cues have a direct pathway to the unconscious brain.

In his book "Blink," Malcolm Gladwell talks about the adaptive unconscious (First Brain), and how important the enormous visual input is in making immediate and unconscious decisions. (In the first 2 seconds a police officer may have to decide to shoot or not – Gladwell calls it Thin Slicing.) We make those same decisions in communicating – in whether to believe someone or not.

So when you meet someone for the first time, the visual will dominate, and likability will be important to your openness to the person. If you don't like someone, you will tend to neither trust nor believe what they say. Likability has been proven to be the most significant factor in electing Presidents, or in any voting for that matter. (See also Tim Sanders book, "The Likeability Factor.") We tend to discount emotionally and unconsciously those we don't like. Doesn't matter how important or true the message is, it will tend to not be heard. Thus Mehrabian's findings are important to point the way to being better communicators.

Overcoming the 'curse of knowledge.'

In Chip Heath's great book "Made To Stick" he talks about how we – our society and all of us as communicators – are caught up in the 'curse of knowledge.' Starting in our academic system we are taught information reigns supreme – if we say the words people will get them. But it just isn't so. It takes more than words.

Mehrabian points the way for overcoming the 'curse of knowledge.' But there are so many other examples and proof points (I could write a book… well actually, I did.) Suffice to say, when we speak we create a communications experience where people WILL get our message if we are trusted and believed. And enthusiastic and confident. And we connect and engage. If we are congruent with our message. And unfortunately most people communicating in business aren't congruent – when they are nervous, lack confidence, or otherwise sabotage their message with inappropriate vocal and visual cues. Those cues are what will be believed at the feeling, liking and unconscious level. That is what Mehrabian's research shows. And if you want a visual and vocal example, look at these clips from people who are at first nervous and then gain confidence.

The ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.

Much of the criticism of Mehrabian in recent blogs comes from his methodology – he was using still pictures, he combined two different experiments, etc. These interpretations miss the point. I think most statistical research can be faulted in some way – and as Mark Twain said, "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." But what is the essence of the findings? It is that the visual dominates at the feeling (liking) level, and that is the dominant factor in establishing trust and credibility. Which is critical in getting any message across.

I'll close this post with my personal experience that I think totally verifies Mehrabian. I founded Decker Communications, Inc. 30 years ago this year. We have trained and interacted with well over 100,000 people in 1 and 2 day "Communicate To Influence" programs. I have personally been involved with tens of thousands of our clients in coaching and training.

To my knowledge, there has not been an exception to:

  • every participant coming in content-burdened and behaviorally-challenged in some way, exhibiting an inconsistent message.
  • every participant gaining confidence and conscious control of behavioral skills – vocal and visual – that allowed them to give a more consistent and powerful message.
  • …and finally, there has not been an exception to any participant who did not agree with the substance of Mehrabian's findings after learning of the research intellectually, and then spending some time observing themselves on video, with feedback and coaching – and seeing how important a congruent message was.

Professor Albert Mehrabian has provided a great service to communicators who learn of, and apply, his work. Let not misinterpretations of that work diminish the importance of Mehrabian.


Categories: Communication Skills, Leadership and Communications, Public Speaking
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