Multitasking is a myth. We’re talking here about multitasking in the sense that the more we can do at once, the more effective we’ll be. Unfortunately for our popular belief, brain research shows the opposite to be true. That means you’re not as good at your job, you’re not as good of a friend, or a mom or dad.

So, what now?

Stop, look, and listen. We teach that eye communication is the #1 behavioral skill (for face-to-face interactions). It’s the make-or-break connection that you have with your listeners. And we break that connection all the time. Chief culprit: the Blackberry, iPhone, laptop, iPad, and the gazillion apps running on them. Check out how Jerry Seinfeld describes this on the Tonight Show (that is, the new/old Tonight Show with Conan):

This happens everywhere. All the time. To all of us. I feel most guilty when I do it at home. My son Joseph thinks I am completely incapable of hearing him unless I turn toward him and look at him smack in the middle of his eyes.

Here’s how it plays out: using a sweet, angelic, 3.5 year-old “inside voice,” he calls, “Mommy…” to which I answer, “Yes, Joseph.” Mind you I’m glancing at email or chopping veggies or trying to keep the little one from writing on the walls in permanent ink. Whatever it is, I’m not looking at him. So he starts again, this time louder. “Mommy!” I answer (still calm and patient at this point), “Yes, Joseph, I’m listening.” Nope, not good enough because I’m not still looking at him. Then, the crescendo. A series of louder and quicker (definitely “outside voice” at this point) “Mommy’s,” until they physically travel up my neck and start pounding on the back of my eyeballs. Finally, (after taking a deep breath), I turn and look, “Yes Joseph, I’m listening.” He picks right back up with that sweet angelic voice asking if the Incredible Hulk is a good guy or a bad guy.

The situation is only getting worse. Distractions and new devices are so intrusive that Blackberrys are about as close to a science fiction-like bodily appendage that we can get. But how do you come across to those around you when you’re Twittering, texting, and emailing someone else that has nothing to do with the conversation at hand? Cold. Aloof. Uninterested. And certainly NOT listening.

When you don’t have eye communication, you don’t have communication. Next time someone pops by your office or cube, or calls your name… just stop, look, and listen.

The Iran protests and Twitter's hand in dramatically showing that an oppressive regime can no longer censor dissent may have changed communications forever.

Ahmadinejad's regime thought they had shut down all social media sites and Iranian ISP's even before the election. But they couldn't do it. With Twitter leading the charge, onsite observers sent hundreds of thousands of instant messages, videos and pictures through Twitter, Facebook and YouTube. The world perhaps watched even more intently because of this dramatic, historic and new communications experience – the perfect storm.

The Open Medium

Could a simple little message distribution system like Twitter have such profound change. I think so, and others like The Nation agree.

Twitter is the first truly open social media that I know of. Count the ways:

• In the news. Iran is not the first example of people flocking to Twitter to get their news immediately and unfiltered. The Miracle on the Hudson was just one of countless breaking news examples. And it was pressure from Twitter on the first day of the protests (last Saturday) that forced CNN to increase their coverage of the riots and discontent.
• Open relationships. It's no coincidence that Twitter cannot be suppressed, technically as well as behaviorally. The culture of Twitter insists on open, not closed; free not censored; share not take. I personally am amazed at the real relationships I have built through Twitter with people from all walks and seasons of life: @speli (a new friend from the last week, several common interests including Iran), @ChrisSpagnuolo (acquaintance who became close friend), @Ed (an inspiring story, but for another time), @MichaelHyatt (top CEO who has become a friend with great insights/info), and the list goes on… Only because of vulnerability on both sides. Unique. Culturally driven.
• Those who succeed at Twitter are NOT those who Block their Updates. Twitter, and all Social Media, are for those who engage
  and share with others – insights, information, ideas, links, and actually, their lives. Blocked updates are an antithesis to Twitter – why take the time to join? There are other means of communicating privately – it's not on Twitter.
• Thus many corporations are going to have to change. As I've been advocating social media to high level clients and executives (often white, male and boomers) I've been talking to those experienced in control and hierarchy. I'll never forget the lesson learned several years ago, talking to a potential client (Fortune 100) who wanted us to help his direct reports be trained to write speeches and read them – so he personally could edit them in advance. We disagreed then. We didn't get that job. And it was in a different era, but many are still living in it.
• Philosophy in social media. Both Twitter and Facebook have made some decisions that backfired – and the immediate response from their millions of members changed their policies. Instantly. This is new – it used to take days and weeks to build pressure on media or institutions to change, if they even would change. Now it's instant, and responsive – open listening.

Perhaps communication has changed forever. It will be fascinating, and valuable for reasons beyond politics, to see how the Iran crisis plays out. My guess is that Twitter will go down as integral to the end result.

And more importantly, it may now be impossible for a repressive, censoring regime to succeed in any country. Or any company for that matter. How can you censor when people can connect openly with each other.

I think Twitter has changed the communications game. What do you think?

Good friend and communicator Chris Spagnuolo has a great blog called Edgehopper (that’s his frog above) – and he was nice enough to interview me. In case you missed it:

Ten Questions with Bert Decker

(1) In your book “You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard” you refer to “The New Communicators”. Can you explain what a new communicator is? Can you give an example of your favorite New Communicator?

New communicators connect with EVERY audience – no matter the setting – in:

• behavior

• content

• interaction

In our Decker Method courses we call it the messenger, the message and the medium – they all are one. A new communicator creates a communication experience that is energized and action oriented.

Three great New Communicators are Steve Jobs (business world), Guy Kawasaki (tech/author world) and Bono (celebrity world.)

(2) So, that covers the good communicators. Who would say is having the most trouble these days as a communicator and why?

• Richard Fuld, Lehman Brothers CEO – closed, arrogant and aloof when he testified to Congress.

• Caroline Kennedy – she lost her bid for the NY Senate seat with a monotone, halting delivery, unfocused message and a mess of ‘ums’ and ‘ahs.’

• Timothy Geithner – stiff and cold. He is not a good messenger for this very important and controversial message.

(3) There has been so much said about Barack Obama’s oratory skills in the past year. Would you consider Barack Obama to be a New Communicator?

No, he’s a good orator, not a great communicator. I’ve reviewed him often (check out Bert’s review here) and it’s fascinating – Obama is President largely because of his 2004 Convention speech, but he STILL does not use the teleprompter well (here’s Bert’s detailed take on Obama’s use of the teleprompter) And when not speechifying, he usually communicates in a professorial manner, with a halting cadence, and also many ums and ahs. Occasionally he is energetic and open and light – but rarely. So ironically, the one who became President because of communication (read oratorical) skills needs to increase his connecting skills.

(4) If you could give one bit of advice to Mr. Obama, what would it be?

• Learn to use the teleprompter so it’s not a ping-pong match – 4 seconds to one side and 4 seconds to the other.

• Leave pauses instead of filling space with non-words.

• Vary rhythm and pacing of voice – energize not professorialize.

(5) You have become a fixture on Twitter in the past year (BTW, I love your Tweets). How do you see the rise of social media tools like Twitter and Facebook impacting communications over the next few years?

I see Twitter (not Facebook) as the dominant communication tool for both text and speaking. It’s a powerful business/personal communication medium in it’s current form as text only, and will become EXPLOSIVE with the right app (the new Nambu is promising – that’s the direction it will be going.) But it will change the face of the speaking environment.

(6) Do you believe there is going to be a new breed of new New Communicators who will use social media tools to connect with people?

Yes and no. First the no – the majority of people will use the text only email/Linked-in/Twitter etc as text only – will not incorporate it holistically.

And yes, the New Communicator will embrace the social media tools (Twitter mostly) in ALL of their communicating environments – but they will be smart about it, and understand there is a difference in text, voice and in person communications – learn the differences and use them intentionally. Most people communicate at the unconscious level – our goal is to make it conscious.

(7) It seems that a big buzz these days is about the use of Twitter at conferences and presentations. What are your thoughts on the rising use of Twitter during presentations?

Twitter is going to be very powerful in expanding (or disrupting) the conference and formal speaking environment. I blogged on that here – but more is yet to come. Big business (most of our clients) are not used to using Twitter in meetings and speeches, but no longer can anyone say ‘laptops down.’ People will Twitter whether you like it or not, so you have to incorporate that in your ‘experience’ and be intentional. Those who become good at it can enhance and expand their speaking – but it will be a rocky road for awhile. Those who use it well will succeed mightily.

(8) You attended SXSW in Austin, TX earlier this year. What were the top insights you gained at SXSW this year?

One of the most amazing conferences I’ve attended (out of thousands!) SXSW Interactive was peak energy, peak connections and peak engagement. 30 meetings going on at a time, 50-75% of people in most meetings/speeches were tweeting on laptops or cells. Podcasts and audios, twitpics and Flip videos and of course tweets were going out to the world by the thousands every minute. More and more conferences will become more like this.

Again, New Communicators must have not only the messenger and the message at peak performance, but also the medium.

Critical point though, that almost ALL neglect is getting video feedback and seeing themselves – so many at SXSW have distracting and nervous habits that it doesn’t matter how good their content or medium use is – they get in their own way. Observed behavior changes. The smart New Communicators at SXSW and all conferences will get themselves on video!

(9) What blogs are you reading most these days and why?

• Well, this one: EdgeHopper - Always well written and lengthy posts on relevant communication subjects – interactive media and personal behavior.

• Presentation Zen - Garr Reynolds is the leader (along with Nancy Duarte) of slide design and communications quality. His posts are in depth, and insightful.

• Seth Godin’s Blog – At first I didn’t like Seth’s text only posts, but then they grew on me for two reasons. They are short and pithy. 80% of them are original and thought provoking. (Pareto’s Law comes into play.)

(10) Who are your favorite follows on Twitter and why?

@ed – a very unusual man of integrity, insight and influence that I have gotten to know well on Twitter.

@OliviaMitchell – great communication research, tips and blog.

@Mashable – always good, up to date links and info on Twitter and the tech world.

But it’s a very tough question because there are so many Twitterers AND blogs that are good.

[Chris' note: If you want to follow Bert on Twitter, and I highly recommend it, he's @BertDecker]

(And Chris on Twitter is @ChrisSpagnuolo )

Speaking and Twitter dominance

The experience of South by South West (SXSW) in Austin is like the
Wild West – it's the frontier of Social Media converging with traditional conference,
dominated by Twitter. After experiencing it, I've modified my opinions since my last Twitter post here, and more will be coming on that (for a very good post on this subject today see Mark Ivey's blog.)

First, four important (read 'Rock Star') voices from SXSW on the question "Is Twitter distracting, additive or what?" I recorded our conversations spontaneously on my iPhone – here are highlights:

@Armano - (Listen to iPhone recording here)

• Good thing, not a bad thing
• Speaker can broadcast his/her message
• When I tweet in conference, use it as notes
• Tweeting causes disconnect but you store up info and come back to it

@GuyKawasaki – (iPhone recording here)

• Very good for speakers, can reach thousands through tweets
• I like big numbers!
• Tweeters disconnect – It's like taking notes
• Not too distracting for me as a speaker. But embarrassing when I'm speaking and someones sees a live tweet from one of my surrogates…

@Pistachio – (iPhone recording here)

• Tweeters can take over a conference – last SXSW
• Great as back channel, speakers can see what audience wants
• Opens up ways to broadcast our content world wide in seconds
• Tradeoffs – can distract speaker, be rude, discount audience
• Can connect with individuals in room and conference
• One more things for corporations to assimilate, change "laptops down" policy

@ChrisBrogan – (iPhone recording here)

• Important to be able to free flow and multi-task well
• Many conversations can take place at the same time, all can express themselves
• Note taking useful for in house audience
• Real audience is the thousands outside the conference room
• Twitter is like hamburger helper for the conversation – makes a little go a long way
• We'll learn to speak in 'twitter bites' (as Chris Brogan does!)

There's a unanimity of opinion by those who are in the Twitter elite of course, and I share their enthusiasm for the possibilities. But there's another side to the story in the traditional and more bureaucratic business world – which is perhaps 80% (or more) of the business population. They still think Twitter is the answer to the now irrelevant question, "What are you doing?" (The other day I asked the CEO of a billion dollar investment banking firm how he used Twitter and he said "What's Twitter?")

More to come on this important communication experience, and Twitter tips for the mainstream business population…

@BertDecker

Be Aware, and Beware!

There's been a lot of buzz – and new insight – into what to do about people twittering while you are speaking. Olivia Mitchell did an outstanding guest blog on Laura Fitton's Pistachio site, and the next day on Chris Spagnuolo's Edgehopper, wrapping up a busy week with her own summary post. All great food for thought – but let's not get carried away. The "back channel" will only be useful in a small number of communicating environments – at least for the next year or so. Here's why:

The great majority of Twitterers, and bloggers for that matter, are early adopters, and tech/social media savvy. They probably would be lost without their computers/PDA's/phones (I know I would.) However the majority of the business world uses the tools, but don't lose themselves in the process. And I'm afraid that the thrust of the current Twitter buzz advocating twittering during speeches will cause an expectation of good communication that will not be met – and will lead the majority of people (like most of our clients) down the wrong path.

Now there ARE great new possibilities, particularly with high tech audiences like at SXSW, and others. So there’s the good, the bad and the ugly.

Let’s start with the ugly:

• Until there was Twitter, there was only ‘Blackberry Abuse,’ which we blogged on awhile back. Here it was rude for people to go to their Blackberrys (or PDA's/iPhones) during a meeting or speech to IM or check email – but they did it anyway. Because they were bored!
• The solution to Blackberry Abuse was to be INTERESTING as a speaker. Engage and excite your audience and they will be compelled to listen, and watch!
• That’s still the solution to the almost 90% of speaking situations where Twittering would not be appropriate (see below). But we're beginning to see an expectation that people SHOULD Twitter, it’s OK, it will be constructive, and it’s not really because they’re bored. But the majority of Twitterers WILL be twittering because they are bored, because the majority of speakers are unfortunately boring. And so now we have a valid excuse to put our heads down, get our minds on the tweet and not the message, and be rude to the unsuspecting speaker.
• Confusion will reign.

Now for the bad:

• In probably 80-90% of most business and conference settings speakers have a message to give – at keynote speeches and large company events – the large audience venues. It is not a groupthink or collaboration (see below for “the good.”)
• You can't read and listen effectively at the same time. This has been well documented by Edward Tufte and others, and I'll personally confirm that with my past 30 years experience in the communication and speaking business. It is cognitive dissonance in action.
• Think of the problem with PowerPoint presentations filled with text, (also well documented in this blog and Presentation Zen and others.) We’ve all had the sad but common experience of reading ahead, as the speaker says, “Now stay with me.” And of course we don’t, and since we can’t read and listen at the same time we have cognitive dissonance.
• And it’s even worse with Tweeting. If you think you can’t read and listen at the same time, it’s even worse to try to text and listen (and read) at the same time. If you have a group listening to a speaker (supposedly) and tweeting about the speaker’s 140 character sound bites (supposedly) and looking at the text and PowerPoints, and reading other Tweeter’s tweets, and looking up urls – chaos reigns in the mind. The speaker has lost control, and there is not only NOT better communication – it is far worse and more fragmented.
• In this large conference/event/speech setting where the speaker has a point-of-view and a message to deliver, the speaker is responsible for the experience. You can’t command “No Blackberrys. No Twitter!” – because people will do what they want to do. But there are other ways – the speaker cannot abdicate his or her responsibility. He or she should be should be interesting, engaging and powerful, using arresting stories, visuals and Black Slides!

A new perspective – the good that will come out of this:

• The growing dialogue and power of Twitter is opening up new ways to communicate, and we are just on the forefront. This is what this recent buzz is leading to, and take the time to read all of the ideas and comments in those blog links below – you’ll get some idea of where it is going.
• Workshops, social media sessions, Jelly!, BarCamps, et al are far different than the traditional more formal speeches mentioned above. Although they won’t replace them anytime soon, they are offering new collaborative possibilities, and it is these where Twitter and the ‘back channel’ will flourish. Likely ALL the sessions at SXSW 2009 Austin in two weeks will be Twitter enhanced, providing a high level laboratory – much should come out of that.
• On webinars and teleconferences there is much more potential for using Twitter, and this back channel becomes very useful where you don't have the speaker present, and need more visual engagement.
• The thousands of smaller meetings and business conferences going on everyday should be living laboratories for experimenting and trying out some of these new ideas of Twitter that have already shown promise.

See Olivia, Pistachio and Edgehopper for dozens of examples of the benefits of Twitter in today's growingly diverse communications experiences. But don’t lose sight of the fact that in most speeches today, Twittering during a speech won’t be of use – but abuse.

1. Why should you do it? (And why am I advocating it here, since many of you are interested in this blog for speaking/personal communications.)
2. Beginning and Intermediate Twitter. (That's me.)
3. Advanced Twitter. (I'm not there, but will point you to who is, and ways to get there.)

So if you are already using Twitter, skip to points 2 and 3. But if not, here's why…

1. Why Twitter in the first place. Who cares about "What are you doing now…" chats anyway?

• I've been testing Twitter (I think I'll call it "T" for brevity) for the last five weeks for the ROI on time. It is worth it. And forget about the "What are you doing?" question – the Twitter folks should can that phrase. It's for kids chatting – not relationships and business.
• T is about giving value and getting value, and thus building valuable relationships.
• Through T I've connected with several key influencers that are important to my business, and many new friends who aren't. I've seen $10,000 raised in 48 hours just on T, and have already raised over $1,000 myself for The Salvation Army (my favorite cause.)
• I've learned a lot by the references to blogs and other people I wouldn't have known – useful business info and interesting general info.
• T (and other social media) is a big part of today's communication
  marketplace, and leads to the most powerful communication of all -
  face-to-face.
• Because of T I tried to work out spending an extra 4 hours for dinner to meet with a new T friend (it didn't work out though, but surprised at the interest generated by T for the face-to-face connection.)
• Because of T I connected with and filmed Nancy Duarte and had an interesting post.
• Gained exposure on several radio/podcasts/blogs that wouldn't have happened.
• Strengthened or renewed connections with friends and family.
• I've been entertained. (And my wife has been very patient during the T learning curve.)

2. Beginning and Intermediate Twitter.

• For the last 5 weeks I've been intensely Twittering. I have about 500 followers (friends or associates is a better word) and follow about 450. I'm not trying to build up thousands right away like many, but to find people of like minded interest and value. If you build it, they will come. Here's what I've found…
• TweetDeck is an indispensable tool. It's a good interface generally, but it is essential to 'Group' your Friends. After a few hundred friends you can't effectively follow all their tweets, so don't try. Go into your Tweet Stream now and then, but group your best friends. I use A, B and C, with A being family and must see, B being interesting and valuable, and C being "Oh, that's a good Tweet, let's see if there are more where that came from."
• T has no rules. Too many take advantage of this freedom and just blather too much. They create Tweet Clutter. So be valuable within the freedom of no rules.
• Give information. Reference a blog post, or an interesting article, or an Alltop link. Be valuable. I try to have half my tweets as reference of value, and the rest a combination of comments (replies), ReTweets and maybe a quote or proverb. Now and then I'll throw in something interesting I'm doing, but maybe nobody is much interested so I don't do that too often. But within your value you do want to show personality.
• I'm amazed at the number of T "Stars" who just blather – or spend too much time talking to their inner circle, or just keep telling us "What they are doing now." Who cares?
• But you may not want to "unfollow" someone you know or respect just because they blather. All you have to do is to not put them in a group you regularly check. They can blather, but you don't have to listen.
• Another great tool is FriendOrFollow - where you can find out quickly, and alphabetically, (this is very time consuming in the Twitter application), who is or is not following you.
• Use Favorites to favorite a Tweet to save it and refer or retweet it later.
• I do look at people who follow me, and follow most if they look interesting, have a website, and have pretty equal follows and followers. And I look for new interesting people to follow through links from the people on my A and B lists.
• Other good tools that you can look at are Twitpic, Twitwall, SocialToo, TwitStats, and if you want to know how you are doing TwitterCounter. And there are many more you will find once you get started.
• If you have an iPhone, (Correction 12/9 Twittelator Pro CAN ReTweet – I just needed to read the instructions (here). So Twittelator Pro goes to the top. I had said) "Tweetie is the best application ($2.99 at the App Store.) Twittelator Pro is good, but you can't automatically ReTweet. Tweetsville is great except it crashes to much for me, and Twitterfon is OK."

3. Advanced Twitter

• Since I'm not there, let me point you to some folks who are, and whom you will want to follow, and you can also check out their key posts. Take the best and leave the rest:
• Guy Kawasaki – one of the best internet and application gurus, gives useful information and has over 30,000 followers.. Be sure to see his posts Looking for Mr. GoodTweet and Twitter as a Twool.
• Jim Connelly is from the UK so you can connect with him at night if you're in the US. He is not only good and friendly, he may have the best bang for the Tweet of them all. Be sure to read his How I Attracted 8,000 followers in 8 Weeks.
• Chris Brogan is a guru who is very well liked on Twitter, and has a very good post on If I Started Today.
• Perry Belcher has a video that is good on how he attracted 5,000 in 90 days.
• John Jantsch of DuctTapeMarketing is great and has a great post on Twitter for Business
• Jay Ehret I met through Twitter only, but we are going to meet in Austin when I visit son Sam (@deckermarketing) over Christmas. I find his blog posts onTwitter very valuable, and he is worth following.
• And an interesting post on the Twitter SeeSaw.

Blogs, and Twitter, take time. So I'll stop now. But I hope you proceed to the next level in both.

And I'm at @BertDecker! I'd like to follow you…