Why write a memorial in a communications blog? Because he was an example we can all emulate.

• He loved people, and he loved communicating in both written and spoken word.
• He wrote the book "Life Is Tremendous." He loved books, and he said, "You are the same today as you'll be in five years except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read."
• He was a world famous professional speaker – sought after for inspiration, wisdom and motivation.
• He was a hugger - and he was known by hundreds of thousands for going into his audiences and hugging people. Bear hugs. He was a big man, and when he hugged his beautiful wife Gloria, he engulfed her.

Charlie Tremendous Jones engulfed life. He cared about people, whether they were among thousands in one of his audiences or were one of a few in prayer groups that he was continuously starting up. Tremendous and Gloria loved kids, and they set aside one building on his Pennsylvania property so he could have Christmas year round for underprivileged kids.

He was a good friend and an inspiration. Charlie was one of twenty of us in Speakers Roundtable, and as we learned of his graduation there was an instant outpouring of nineteen celebratory emails to each other. Tremendous would have liked us celebrating, but not lauding him. He was a very humble man.

I featured him in my new book "You've Got To Be Believed To Be Heard" as 'A Tremendous Communicator' (naturally,) but the real reason is he was one of the most inspiring, authentic and infectiously positive people I know. That is the mark of a great communicator. And Charlie Tremendous Jones was the best – in so many ways.

"It takes 21 days to change a habit,"

But this past weekend we saw habit change at a high level happen in a couple of days at our Speakers’ Roundtable meeting – and there’s a great learning principle in this story.

Too many leaders, and speakers talk about "stuff" , as in "The group liked my stuff," or "I gave them my best stuff. We generically and lazily categorize specific concepts or details or material as "stuff." So Patricia Fripp, renowned public speaker, coach and sister of King Crimson’s Robert Fripp, decided to put a learning principle in place and stop this ‘stuff’ at our three day meeting this past weekend. (She calls it a crime against credibility.) Every time anyone would say "stuff" the person would have to put a $1 in a paper bag.

What happened?

Well, one top speaker said, "Here’s $20, just deduct each one from my account." What pain, fun, chagrin, and learning, as we went through the weekend.
$42 was collected. And it would have probably been $142 if we all
hadn’t become sensitized to the word "stuff." (I cringe even now when
writing it .)

When I got home my wife Dru Scott heard me say "the word," and we’ve
started another collection (so far $3, but it won’t go much higher -
I’m too sensitized.)

And that’s the point with habits. Become aware, and you WILL begin to have a choice
whether you use that word, or behavior, or way of holding
yourself, or preparing – or whatever habit it might be.

Habits will make or break you – stuff the bad ones by putting them top
of mind so you stop before you do it, whatever it is. (The most common
verbal one is the dreaded non-word "um" or "ah" – same process applies to replace them with a pause.) But you’ve got to get feedback.

We recommend to all our clients the easiest way to change verbal speech habits
is to get a digital audio recorder and record yourself in informal and
formal settings (from telephone calls to meetings to speeches.) And of
course video is even better - observed behavior changes.

Get feedback and it won’t take long for you to stuff your bad habits.

I don’t really think there are gurus – but there are experts and the experienced, and from that stand point I’m honored to share the designation with my team at Decker Communications. They helped develop, and deliver, all that we do.

And though there are some people missing from the list, I’m delighted to be at #4 when I see the company we keep with Tom Peters and Dr. John Gray. And with my good friend and Speaker’s Roundtable associate Tony Alessandra at #1 – maybe next year we’ll work our way up a notch or two and beat him out…