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I want my life back,” wails BP Oil CEO Tony Hayward. Well, he really doesn’t wail, but he might as well have. Leaders lead, they don’t plead.

The BP Oil disaster on the Gulf Coast needs more than a good communicator, it is a terrible tragedy no matter who is at the helm. But BP does need a good communicator to make the best of an awful plight. Unfortunately, they have CEO Hayward, who has been his own worst enemy.

CEO’s have to be ready to lead with authenticity – where one’s perceived behavior as well as focus really counts. This CEO fails on both accounts.

Authenticity – what you say and how you say it

Hayward has been off from the beginning.  A month ago he appeared aloof – look at his manner in this clip (and above) at an early press conference.

I was appalled at his apparent smug and arrogant behavior. I don’t know him, but if that’s his natural style, I’m surprised he’s CEO. Then again, this is a company that made $10 billion profit last quarter! So where were his advisors? Where were his coaches? Why wasn’t he trained in advance so he knew how to act when the pressure was on. This was not the way.

“I Want My Life Back.”

So here we have a multi-millionaire CEO ‘wanting his life back’ in the face of the families of 11 people killed on ‘his’ oil rig, and tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands who will lose their economic life because of his oil. OK, not ‘his’ oil, but he has to speak as if it’s his oil. And he has not. What he did have to do was apologize for his remarks. The problem was, and is, we believe he meant it – that he cares only as it affects BP and himself.

Defense is not the best offense

Throughout these first 40 days of the disaster, Tony Hayward was the spokesperson – yet almost all of his statements smacked of defensiveness. First he says the effects will be very, very modest. More recently, in response to the fact that those cleaning the beaches were getting sick from evident oil fumes, he inferred that it could be “food poisoning!”

His appearances, and performances, were so bad that a national Cable News show ended their newscast with an editorial excoriating Hayward and saying, “Act like you care!”

It was just announced that Admiral Thad Allen will now make all the updates on the Gulf Oil disaster. (He’s good by the way.) Although politics are no doubt also involved, it is not surprising that both BP and the administration wanted Tony Hayward off the air. He did nobody any good, particularly himself.

Lessons for us all

We will all be called upon to speak under pressure in important circumstances. Be prepared. It is not just the CEO’s like Hayward that have to be ready, though the stakes might be higher in his case. It’s all of us. In this video and social media age, we are all on television. If we don’t know how we come across, and where our heart and our message is, we may be doomed to fail when it counts the most. And it doesn’t have to be.

No doubt that Tony Hayward would like his life back. And I bet he’d like to start this communications experience over again – after maybe a heart check and a little training too.

But today, I’m talking about taking risks in your own communication. Take a look!

Let’s start with the behavioral side (the part that we hear and see as someone is speaking to us):

The pilot came on the PA system to give an update on our delay. In what was possibly the worst monotone voice I’ve EVER heard (keep in mind that I hear a lot of them), he explained:

“Um, there was a, um, delay due to, um, bad, um, weather in Chicago, um. [Insert long, painful pause] Um, we, uh should be um, pulling away from the uh, gate, in about um, five minutes.”

I wish I could say I was exaggerating. I overheard the couple next to me saying that he sounded like he was falling asleep in the middle of his announcement. Awesome – a narcoleptic pilot. Perfect for a cross-country flight.

And on the content side (the words we say):

Flight status updates are basic — and brief. Why should there ever be an abstraction in them?  These announcements talk about low acceptance rates and flow control. How does that help me understand why I won’t be home in time to tuck my kids into bed? It’s simple. The pilots are cursed by their own knowledge.

Yes, we passengers want details and an explanation for what happened, but please speak in plain English. I have no clue what a low acceptance rate is. One flight attendant on another recent flight finally spoke up, “SFO usually operates two different runways, but they had to close one of them due to the nasty rain. Now they can’t land as many planes, things are backed up and we just have to wait our turn.” Ok, I get it now. Thanks for the translation.

So what?

We’re a lot like these pilots. Many of us don’t consider ourselves to be public speakers. But we’re ALWAYS public speaking (there’s really not much private speaking going on). If you’ve got a high-stakes presentation, you probably work pretty hard at both what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it. But those are rare moments. How are you working on your daily communications? In your one-on-ones, staff meetings, on a conference call, and even over the PA system.

Time for a self-check: how do you come across on a conference call?

The good news is that you can always be practicing. Pros are always in school, constantly working to get better. Get feedback (an audio recorder and/or a trusted colleague work great) and start tweaking and testing.

[Note that Southwest, Jet Blue and Virgin America are far better in these interactions – primarily because they make them conversational, both in behavior and content. They don’t fill them with jargon. Rather, they just tell it like it is, and have fun with it too – a little of that goes a long way on the tarmac.]

So, what the heck does Spartacus have in common with data integration?

This particular client of ours is all about data. They love it. Respect it. Manage it. Integrate it. They make data useful to their customers. One of the most important benefits of their products and services is that they can ease tension between IT and Sales/Marketing.

Here’s just one example of what they do: they make it so the sales and marketing teams have the information they need to have a 360 degree view of their customers, all in one place. Better customer relationship management, increased sales…all good news. And, nobody has to bug the IT folks for bad data. To show this (in a mock presentation to a customer), one participant began his message with this classic scene from Spartacus:

Then he went on:

“You have no idea who is the real Spartacus is among your customers. Your data is just plain bad and you can’t service these customers effectively. It’s critical that you upgrade and simplify your systems.”

Now there’s one that will stand out against the competition.

Challenge yourself by asking, “How will I be remembered?” They likely won’t sign on the dotted line right after you finish your PowerPoint presentation. That message of influence must persist longer than the 60 minute meeting that you have with that customer, team member, or boss. As your listener is flooded with all sorts of information for the rest of the day, how will your message be remembered so that they buy off on your message and take action?

The truth is, status quo is a facade. You’re either improving or decaying. Some have put it that you are either growing or you’re dying. True. There is no in between.

What’s your goal as a communicator? To improve specific behavioral skills? To develop your communication skills to the next level? To be a highly-sought after speaker? Or are you at the top of your game – the pinnacle of your capabilities? You think?

We’re all moving along the continuum of effective communicators. Even when you reach your goal as a communicator, the journey continues.

Perfection is a dangling carrot, serving as a motivator to lean forward and do it. Whatever you have achieved, there is always more work to be done. This is especially true when it comes to your image as a communicator. At a Speaker’s Roundtable meeting last year, Don Hutson – a great speaker, good friend and author of The One Minute Entrepreneur said: “The image of a person, company or product is never a constant but an ever-changing variable.”

Your image – and the substance behind it – is indeed an ever-changing variable. And you don’t define it – others do. What you do and how you do it are constantly under scrutiny. There’s no end to the evolution of your reputation. It’s dynamic – interpreted by people in real time, all the time, every second you’re exposed to and interacting with others.

To rest in the confidence that you have secured for yourself a favorable image or reputation is to rest, period. There’s no room for inertia in a highly competitive world of constant motion – not when your objective is excellence. There is no capturing a dangling carrot. To be an excellent communicator, you must continuously solicit feedback. Ask, listen and learn. What they see is what they get. Learn what they see; then make sure what they’re seeing is what you want them to get.

Get on video. Often. Observed behavior changes.

Keep your eyes on the carrot and your ears peeled for feedback, and the communicator you seek to be will align with the communicator others see in you. Over time…

My guess is that the amount/time of preparation wasn’t the problem…it was HOW he prepared! (Which, unfortunately, is WAY too common.)

Likely spent all his time studying the market opportunity, adoption rates, features/benefits, competitive landscape, and perfecting the business abstractions.

What he shoulda/coulda/woulda done:

1. Get out of the weeds and focus on THE ONE thing, aka “The Lead of the Story.”

2. Add something (actually, anything) compelling. You’ve got to get the listener emotionally and actively engaged. We advocate using SHARPs (Stories, Humor, Analogies, References, Pictures) to help make your message sticky. He “tried” to do this by quoting a dictionary, which conjures up ZERO emotional resonance.

3. FOCUS on delivery. The falls by the wayside in so many business communications – not just the high stakes presentations. Without showing confidence and passion, he’s not motivating anyone to get that phone.

What are the takeaways?

-Prepare right

How you prepare is as important as the time in prep. It’s not just the research, the points to make, it’s also the behaviors. Communication rides energy, and there was precious little in this presentation that SHOULD have been exciting.  So…

-Rehearse right

Rehearse a lot, and rehearse on video. If Mario Carlos just rehearsed a few times, with an audience, and with video, it would have to be much improved. Observed behavior changes. I doubt if he would not get rid of his many hesitations and non-words if he had heard them. I doubt if he would have had such a flat tone if he had heard it. And I would think he’s smile a bit if he had seen it. But too late – the time to rehearse and get better is before the event. And ideally well before the event so you don’t have to think about the behaviors. Rehearsal time gives confidence in the content, as well as in oneself.

-Get good feedback

Sure there had to be some feedback on an announcement of this size, but what kind was it to result in that performance. Honest? Helpful? Performance changing? I doubt it. Probably good feedback on the content of the slides, maybe timing, and of course what to be sure to include. But feedback on the experience itself? I really doubt it.

Communication is an experience – witness the name of our blog. It is a combination of what we say and how we say it, and the great majority of the time business people treat it like a written essay. If you say the words, people may not necessarily get it. They may be tuned out. As we were to Mario Carlos, and thus to Nexus, and thus to Google. Not a good experience.

Now, of course, I LOVE the fact that he acknowledges communications as one of the #1 ways you can increase your human capital and value to your team, company, organization, and even family and friends, for that matter. (Of course, he should have  referenced Decker instead of the other guys.. Sorry, can’t help it.)

The best part though is that he’s a great model for effective communicating. He doesn’t just tell others to “do as I say, not as I do.” Here’s what he does well:

He’s incredibly likable. Guess what? You can be too! This is a skill that can be learned. He’s likable for three key reasons:

• “Lightness of face” — Notice how he has the slightest of grins throughout the clip. He’s not foolishly smiling from ear to ear, just enough. This goes a long way for communications. Smiling is the simplest, although not always the easiest way to increase your likability to your listener. For example, you could be that grim-faced kind of person (not to say that you’re grim, just grim-faced) who processes and communicates information very seriously, maybe with a furrowed brow for extra concentration. That facial expression doesn’t do anything to help you connect and build rapport with your listener. We don’t buy long term from someone we don’t like – it would be too painful! So, next time go on and give smiling a try.
• Conversational tone — It’s a town hall set up, so it should be that way. Not professorial, not a lecture – it feels like he’s just chatting with you.
• He’s vulnerable — The great Warren Buffett also needed communication TRAINING! To be successful, you also have to have a constant eye on improvement. A forward lean toward progress. When’s the last time you invested in these skills? Communications training is often overlooked as a soft skill – but it’s critical to your success. Make it a new year’s resolution.

On the content side, he knows his audience. He uses a flurry of numbers to illustrate his point. Now mind you, this would NOT work in all circumstances, but this is to a group of Columbia business school students who squeal with delight at the thought of alpha, beta, and r-squared statistics.  These are human-scale stats to this particular breed. Human-scale statistics allows the listener to bring their experience to bear (learn more about this in Decker Made To Stick).

Warren Buffett gets it: invest in yourself and reap the return.