Why doesn’t Romney catch on? And why has Cain so quickly climbed the popularity ladder?

These are a couple of key questions that provide important insight as to the value of the debates – perceived authenticity. Perception is in the eye of the beholder.

If the presidency was to be typecast, the perfect candidate is Mitt Romney. He looks good, has great political and business experience, is giving stellar debate performances – but people don’t seem to take to him. Plastic is a word that comes to mind.

I’ve often mentioned that Romney should muss up his hair a little to be real, but that’s just symbolic for doing SOMETHING to appear, and ‘be’, authentic. He DOES look like he’s playing a role. He’s careful and measured. We wish we could see him with more of a ‘forward lean’ – not so posed and ‘nice.’ Bluntness would be refreshing, and way out of character. Yet it would give some important authenticity points.

On the other hand, Herman Cain is almost a polar opposite – blunt, brash and bold. In this recent debate that was his favorite word for his ‘9,9,9’ plan – BOLD. We have no question he means what he says – we do not question his authenticity. And most importantly, he smiles often in his bluntness. We tend to like him. He is authentic. We trust him.

We trust and believe and follow those who are authentic. Authenticity is primarily established by behavior, not by message. But it has everything to do with whether our message will register on the listener (or voter in this case.) It has everything to do with leadership.

Everyone (well, many) wanted Chris Christie to run for President. Why? Because there is no question Chris Christie is a leader. And he is the poster child for authenticity. Many may not like what he says, but they believe what he says. He just endorsed Romney this week. Perhaps Romney hopes that some of his refreshing candor will rub off. It doesn’t work that way. What Romney needs to do is express his own brand of refreshing candor. That would be refreshing.

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I want my life back,” wails BP Oil CEO Tony Hayward. Well, he really doesn’t wail, but he might as well have. Leaders lead, they don’t plead.

The BP Oil disaster on the Gulf Coast needs more than a good communicator, it is a terrible tragedy no matter who is at the helm. But BP does need a good communicator to make the best of an awful plight. Unfortunately, they have CEO Hayward, who has been his own worst enemy.

CEO’s have to be ready to lead with authenticity – where one’s perceived behavior as well as focus really counts. This CEO fails on both accounts.

Authenticity – what you say and how you say it

Hayward has been off from the beginning.  A month ago he appeared aloof – look at his manner in this clip (and above) at an early press conference.

I was appalled at his apparent smug and arrogant behavior. I don’t know him, but if that’s his natural style, I’m surprised he’s CEO. Then again, this is a company that made $10 billion profit last quarter! So where were his advisors? Where were his coaches? Why wasn’t he trained in advance so he knew how to act when the pressure was on. This was not the way.

“I Want My Life Back.”

So here we have a multi-millionaire CEO ‘wanting his life back’ in the face of the families of 11 people killed on ‘his’ oil rig, and tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands who will lose their economic life because of his oil. OK, not ‘his’ oil, but he has to speak as if it’s his oil. And he has not. What he did have to do was apologize for his remarks. The problem was, and is, we believe he meant it – that he cares only as it affects BP and himself.

Defense is not the best offense

Throughout these first 40 days of the disaster, Tony Hayward was the spokesperson – yet almost all of his statements smacked of defensiveness. First he says the effects will be very, very modest. More recently, in response to the fact that those cleaning the beaches were getting sick from evident oil fumes, he inferred that it could be “food poisoning!”

His appearances, and performances, were so bad that a national Cable News show ended their newscast with an editorial excoriating Hayward and saying, “Act like you care!”

It was just announced that Admiral Thad Allen will now make all the updates on the Gulf Oil disaster. (He’s good by the way.) Although politics are no doubt also involved, it is not surprising that both BP and the administration wanted Tony Hayward off the air. He did nobody any good, particularly himself.

Lessons for us all

We will all be called upon to speak under pressure in important circumstances. Be prepared. It is not just the CEO’s like Hayward that have to be ready, though the stakes might be higher in his case. It’s all of us. In this video and social media age, we are all on television. If we don’t know how we come across, and where our heart and our message is, we may be doomed to fail when it counts the most. And it doesn’t have to be.

No doubt that Tony Hayward would like his life back. And I bet he’d like to start this communications experience over again – after maybe a heart check and a little training too.

Remember, I also want to give you feedback! Video tape yourself at a meeting or giving a presentation and send it to me. Getting feedback is the most essential way to take your communication to the next level.

In the meantime, here’s some more off-the-cuff 1×1 feedback, this time for San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom in a touchy interview on CBS5 last week.

Enjoy – and send your videos to me at blog@decker.com!

PS – Tune in early next week for more 1×1 feedback! According to the marketing department, I’ll be talking about Tiger Woods’ upcoming press conference (if it ever happens!). Can’t wait to see how he presents his point of view.

Now, of course, I LOVE the fact that he acknowledges communications as one of the #1 ways you can increase your human capital and value to your team, company, organization, and even family and friends, for that matter. (Of course, he should have  referenced Decker instead of the other guys.. Sorry, can’t help it.)

The best part though is that he’s a great model for effective communicating. He doesn’t just tell others to “do as I say, not as I do.” Here’s what he does well:

He’s incredibly likable. Guess what? You can be too! This is a skill that can be learned. He’s likable for three key reasons:

• “Lightness of face” — Notice how he has the slightest of grins throughout the clip. He’s not foolishly smiling from ear to ear, just enough. This goes a long way for communications. Smiling is the simplest, although not always the easiest way to increase your likability to your listener. For example, you could be that grim-faced kind of person (not to say that you’re grim, just grim-faced) who processes and communicates information very seriously, maybe with a furrowed brow for extra concentration. That facial expression doesn’t do anything to help you connect and build rapport with your listener. We don’t buy long term from someone we don’t like – it would be too painful! So, next time go on and give smiling a try.
• Conversational tone — It’s a town hall set up, so it should be that way. Not professorial, not a lecture – it feels like he’s just chatting with you.
• He’s vulnerable — The great Warren Buffett also needed communication TRAINING! To be successful, you also have to have a constant eye on improvement. A forward lean toward progress. When’s the last time you invested in these skills? Communications training is often overlooked as a soft skill – but it’s critical to your success. Make it a new year’s resolution.

On the content side, he knows his audience. He uses a flurry of numbers to illustrate his point. Now mind you, this would NOT work in all circumstances, but this is to a group of Columbia business school students who squeal with delight at the thought of alpha, beta, and r-squared statistics.  These are human-scale stats to this particular breed. Human-scale statistics allows the listener to bring their experience to bear (learn more about this in Decker Made To Stick).

Warren Buffett gets it: invest in yourself and reap the return.

In true Decker form, we videotaped the entire Decker Made To Stick Messaging debut program so we could (what else?) give ourselves feedback!  Several participants gave us feedback, too, so we can continuously improve and evolve.  With all this video lying around, @MeredithGood put together a short testimonial (for kicks!) to give you a sense of what Decker Made To Stick Messaging is all about.

What are you waiting for? Get in on the action and register for December 2nd! Hope to see you soon.

Without question, praise is the most powerful motivator. I was amazed at the profound meaning a few nice words (that I saw as no big deal) had for someone recently. Yesterday I got this email after I had thanked one of our people: “Wow, Ben. You’re welcome. Thanks for noticing! Means a lot that you said something.” Encouragement is powerful.

I must continually remind myself as I tend to look towards filling that half filled glass. So must we all.

We have a team of Program Leaders that lead various programs around the country and for them to lead an entire Decker Program takes months of training and extensive feedback.  That feedback can easily fall into “tweaks” or “constructive criticism.” It is a great reminder that there has to be encouragement with that.  Another of our Program Leaders reminded me she still has a note from me stating “Nice Job” on an initial program that she led…from 3 years ago!  I don’t remember doing it, but I’m glad I did.

We run into problems as speakers when we don’t take the time to solicit objective feedback. Although I now make my living from professional speaking, it wasn’t so long ago that I should have been paying people to listen to me (and even then might not have packed the house). I didn’t begin changing until I heard myself bumble through a speech on an audio playback. In just three minutes! Unbelievable. This prompted action.

I began seeking all kinds of feedback. There are three basic types, what we call the 3 x 3 Rule.

The 3 x 3 Rule: Pursue and obtain:

3 positive aspects of your presentation

3 areas where you could improve

You apply the 3 x 3 Rule via:

1. People feedback – in every presentation, ask five people to provide feedback to you according to the the 3 x 3 Rule.
2. Video-record every presentation you give (a quick and simple way to do this is with flip video cameras). When you see and hear it played back, write down your observations according to the 3 x 3 Rule.
3. Audio-record yourself at every opportunity. When was the last time you listened to a voice mail of yourself? (In many cases, you can hit # to playback and approve it before sending.) Record conference calls and business/board presentations. You don’t have to listen to the whole thing – 10-30 seconds will give you a feel for the good, the bad, and the ugly.

If you multiply the 3 x 3 rule, you get more than 9. What you obtain is a foundation upon which you can build an action plan for excellence.

Politicians know it. Executives know it too. Successful communicators (ie. successful people) lean forward in all they do. They possess character and talents, of course — natural gifts and developed skills. But it’s how they communicate with action that differentiates them from the pack.

The forward lean is a mindset. It impacts every facet of your life. It’s a “can do” attitude, approaching opportunities with a simple commitment to just do it.

We’re talking about leaders who engage. They get involved. They participate. They stand up, raise their hand, volunteer and take chances without hesitation. High energy, always working toward something specific and moving in a deliberate direction – successful leaders understand how to lead, by example. They communicate with action.

Do you have a forward lean? Do you:

• sit in the front row at a seminar or meeting?
• speak up, ask questions, volunteer?
• often find you’re the first to get things started?
• jump in and get involved…put yourself on the playing field?

Successful communication is a natural extension of the forward lean. We see it in high profile leaders, but we also see it in every area of life: Home, office, church, non-profit, school, community organizations. The opportunities for any of us to lean forward abound.

So where does your lean manifest? Are you leaning forward? Once you start leaning forward, you MOVE forward.