Our communications behavior is made up of literally dozens of
habits, which we need to know first (through video feedback), and then practice to
modify, improve or change. (Remembering 'Perfect practice makes perfect.') Maltz
proved this in his self help classic Psychocybernetics.

How we think is also a matter of habit, so in our workshops we teach people new ways to look at their content – to focus, have a Point Of View, and avoid data dumps. And with the advent of new technology (ie. Twitter) we ALL have to look at modifying our habits in our approach to our audiences. (More to come on how to handle this challenge, and opportunity.)

In our coaching and consulting, the biggest obstacle we encounter is clients who just don't want to practice. If you don't like to practice either, think of what Malcolm Gladwell found in his research for "Outliers." The people with the most success in ALL fields were those who had either 10,000 hours of practice, or 10 years of experience (give or take an hour or year or so.)

We are all communicators. Gain mastery in this most important skill where you influence others every day at several important touch points. And those who have mastery and leverage in those formal speaking opportunities with large groups are those who know their habits, and practice at them.

"It takes 21 days to change a habit,"

But this past weekend we saw habit change at a high level happen in a couple of days at our Speakers’ Roundtable meeting – and there’s a great learning principle in this story.

Too many leaders, and speakers talk about "stuff" , as in "The group liked my stuff," or "I gave them my best stuff. We generically and lazily categorize specific concepts or details or material as "stuff." So Patricia Fripp, renowned public speaker, coach and sister of King Crimson’s Robert Fripp, decided to put a learning principle in place and stop this ‘stuff’ at our three day meeting this past weekend. (She calls it a crime against credibility.) Every time anyone would say "stuff" the person would have to put a $1 in a paper bag.

What happened?

Well, one top speaker said, "Here’s $20, just deduct each one from my account." What pain, fun, chagrin, and learning, as we went through the weekend.
$42 was collected. And it would have probably been $142 if we all
hadn’t become sensitized to the word "stuff." (I cringe even now when
writing it .)

When I got home my wife Dru Scott heard me say "the word," and we’ve
started another collection (so far $3, but it won’t go much higher -
I’m too sensitized.)

And that’s the point with habits. Become aware, and you WILL begin to have a choice
whether you use that word, or behavior, or way of holding
yourself, or preparing – or whatever habit it might be.

Habits will make or break you – stuff the bad ones by putting them top
of mind so you stop before you do it, whatever it is. (The most common
verbal one is the dreaded non-word "um" or "ah" – same process applies to replace them with a pause.) But you’ve got to get feedback.

We recommend to all our clients the easiest way to change verbal speech habits
is to get a digital audio recorder and record yourself in informal and
formal settings (from telephone calls to meetings to speeches.) And of
course video is even better - observed behavior changes.

Get feedback and it won’t take long for you to stuff your bad habits.