Archive for November, 2009

If They’re Not Interested – Who Cares?

	Posted by Ben Decker \| November 20th, 2009 \| 5 Comments \| Tweet This

Posted by Ben Decker | November 20th, 2009 | 5 Comments | Tweet This

Who cares what you have to say? Does your audience? While coaching an executive last week, this issue arose. He felt that his audience didn’t care about the material he was presenting, which in turn impacted the way he was presenting it. It’s a vicious cycle. As communicators, we seek to engage our listeners. But sometimes (or even often times) we perceive apathy or disinterest from our audience. Herein lies the challenge for all communicators. We look for attentive eyes, nodding heads, welcoming smiles, and undistracted behaviors to clue us in on whether or not we’re connecting with our audience. Unfortunately, there are many times we don’t find what we’re looking for.

Audience challenges abound: Apathy, disinterest, distractions. Bert wrote about distractions emerging in social media, specifically regarding the use of backchannels (here on Twitter, and here on Chris Brogan’s approach to Backnoise). In both of these posts (as in all obstacles interfering with engaging your listeners) is a fundamental truth – the communicator is responsible for the communications experience. When you present your message to an audience, you are the conductor. You lead. It’s your job to create the environment in which participants are most likely to listen, engage and absorb. You provoke connection. You motivate your audience to care. Your job doesn’t change when an audience is unresponsive, distracted or uninterested.

Who cares about your message? You do! And it’s your responsibility to inspire your listeners to join you. Don’t let disinterest or distraction deter you from your job, rather, take charge of your communications experience. When you lead your listeners with confident communication skills, authentic enthusiasm and infectious energy, you can convert apathy into action.

Photo credit: AuntieMabel

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Warren Buffett knows about investing – in yourself

	Posted by Kelly Decker \| November 18th, 2009 \| 1 Comment \| Tweet This

Posted by Kelly Decker | November 18th, 2009 | 1 Comment | Tweet This

When you see clips like these, it’s easy to understand why Warren Buffett is the man.

Now, of course, I LOVE the fact that he acknowledges communications as one of the #1 ways you can increase your human capital and value to your team, company, organization, and even family and friends, for that matter. (Of course, he should have referenced Decker instead of the other guys.. Sorry, can’t help it.)

The best part though is that he’s a great model for effective communicating. He doesn’t just tell others to “do as I say, not as I do.” Here’s what he does well:

He’s incredibly likable. Guess what? You can be too! This is a skill that can be learned. He’s likable for three key reasons:

“Lightness of face” — Notice how he has the slightest of grins throughout the clip. He’s not foolishly smiling from ear to ear, just enough. This goes a long way for communications. Smiling is the simplest, although not always the easiest way to increase your likability to your listener. For example, you could be that grim-faced kind of person (not to say that you’re grim, just grim-faced) who processes and communicates information very seriously, maybe with a furrowed brow for extra concentration. That facial expression doesn’t do anything to help you connect and build rapport with your listener. We don’t buy long term from someone we don’t like – it would be too painful! So, next time go on and give smiling a try.
Conversational tone — It’s a town hall set up, so it should be that way. Not professorial, not a lecture – it feels like he’s just chatting with you.
He’s vulnerable — The great Warren Buffett also needed communication TRAINING! To be successful, you also have to have a constant eye on improvement. A forward lean toward progress. When’s the last time you invested in these skills? Communications training is often overlooked as a soft skill – but it’s critical to your success. Make it a new year’s resolution.

On the content side, he knows his audience. He uses a flurry of numbers to illustrate his point. Now mind you, this would NOT work in all circumstances, but this is to a group of Columbia business school students who squeal with delight at the thought of alpha, beta, and r-squared statistics. These are human-scale stats to this particular breed. Human-scale statistics allows the listener to bring their experience to bear (learn more about this in Decker Made To Stick).

Warren Buffett gets it: invest in yourself and reap the return.

Categories: Communication Skills, Leadership and Communications, Public Speaking, Speakers
Tags: business, Columbia University, communicating, Communication Skills, communications, leadership, personal investment, Public Speaking, speaking, training, Warren Buffett

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Video Blog: Carrie Prejean on the Today Show

	Posted by Ben Decker \| November 12th, 2009 \| 10 Comments \| Tweet This

Posted by Ben Decker | November 12th, 2009 | 10 Comments | Tweet This

Here’s my first attempt at a video blog! This is hopefully one of many quick videos where I’ll give feedback for communication in the news.

I also want to give you feedback! Send me a video of you giving a presentation, doing Q&A, or rehearsing a speech (less than 10 mins please) and I’ll choose one to post about each week or so. Don’t worry – I’ll be very nice, but also honest so that my feedback can help.

In the video below, I’m giving some off-the-cuff 1×1 feedback for Carrie Prejean’s recent (and somewhat hostile) interview on the Today Show (1×1 feedback is a modified version of Decker’s 3×3 keepers and improvements because the video clip is so short.)

Enjoy – and send your videos to blog@decker.com!

Categories: Communication Skills, Newsworthy, Public Speaking, Short Bits, Speakers, Video - Use It
Tags: behavior, Carrie Prejean, communicating, Communication Skills, communications, hostile q&a, Meredith Vieira, q&a, Today Show

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You don’t take a wrecking ball…

	Posted by Bert Decker \| November 10th, 2009 \| Leave a Comment \| Tweet This

Posted by Bert Decker | November 10th, 2009 | Leave a Comment | Tweet This

Here’s a great example of a metaphor from the halls of Congress, no less.

A few weeks ago Kelly posted on Obama’s “Grab a mop!” Here’s an example of the other side exemplifying skills with metaphors, analogies, and other good stickiness to make a point. Congressman Jack Kingston of Georgia gets prime time coverage here (not just C-SPAN) for visually using the 2,000 page Health Care bill and his phrase, “If your kitchen sink is leaking, you fix the sink. You don’t take a wrecking ball to the entire kitchen. This bill is a wrecking ball to the entire economy.”

The metaphor takes a complex idea like his view on health care and simplifies it in an instant. And it’s easy to visualize how outrageous a wrecking ball smashing through a kitchen would be — and that’s what he wanted to do.

So there you have it, another great sticky message. We look for them everywhere, just like raccoons look for snails and slugs under the grass in my backyard… (well, that’s another story, but here are a few pics just so you don’t think I made that up. The best word pictures come from real life.)

Categories: Musings, SHARPs and Stories, Short Bits
Tags: health care bill, Jack Kingston, Metaphors, sticky messages

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Are you in the weeds?

	Posted by Ben Decker \| November 5th, 2009 \| 1 Comment \| Tweet This

Posted by Ben Decker | November 5th, 2009 | 1 Comment | Tweet This

weeds4 We’ve all been there – caught up in the shrinking world of tunnel vision. But when communicating with others, being in the weeds can lose your audience.

Last week I coached two executives, neither of whom had used video feedback before. In both of these sessions, we addressed the need to “get out of the weeds.” Most often, when we’re in the weeds, we don’t realize it. Having an outside perspective (such as coaching and video feedback) is important for this very reason. When we are passionate and invested in a message, it’s our natural tendency to share as much as we can in as much detail as we can. The material is so important, so brilliant and so valuable that we inadvertently create information overload in our fervor.

When you present your communications experience, are you in the weeds? Consider these indicators:

The verbal content of your message is cluttered with verbosity, technical jargon, industry lingo, and too much detail.
The visuals presented are overkill (too many slides, too much text, little or no graphics).
Your presentation lacks stories, anecdotes, and humor.
Your intensity for the material blinds you from the need to connect with and engage your audience.

The answer? Focus on two things and two things only.

Your point of view: What is the core message you want to convey?
Your audience: What’s in it for them? What are they looking for in your message? How can you focus on the aspects of your message that they’ll care about?

Simplify your material. Divorce the details that excite you but alienate your listeners. Become a master of exclusion and a facilitator of a memorable message. Take “you” out of the message. Focus on your listeners, learn them and create an experience that leaves an impact on them.

Want to connect your message with your audience? Get out your weed whacker!

Photo credit: gracieshoots

Categories: Communication Skills, PowerPoint Abuse - Avoid It, SHARPs and Stories, Speakers, Video - Use It
Tags: better meetings, communicating, Communication Skills, communications, decker, PowerPoints, Presentation skills, presentations, Public Speaking, speaking, success

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A little eye communication goes a long way for WOMM

	Posted by Bert Decker \| November 3rd, 2009 \| 4 Comments \| Tweet This

Posted by Bert Decker | November 3rd, 2009 | 4 Comments | Tweet This

Last week I wrote on various aspects of eye communication. A couple of experiences prompt me to write again – on how eye communication impacts word of mouth marketing.

And how important is word of mouth marketing?

80% of reviews are positive…because people want to share things they enjoy. Known as the “J-Curve”
90% of people who write reviews do so to help other people.
In 2007, “Trust in someone like me” tripled, which trust in companies dropped. (Think of what it is today!)

(For more stats, check out Bazaarvoice – the leader in WOMM)

Last week, I became a disgruntled customer at my local market because an order I had placed a week before had yet to be filled, and I was having friends over that night. I went there and the manager looked me directly in the eye throughout our conversation. As a result, I found myself calming down, seeking to work towards resolution. In the end, I left the establishment satisfied and eager once again to recommend the place to others.

Then recently I walked in to a store as a potential new customer, prepared to spend some good money to update a few home furnishings. Rather than engage me while discussing options in the store, the salesperson completely avoided eye contact, looking at my watch, my clothes, and pretty much anywhere else he could other than my eyes.

Combined with a generally unpleasant demeanor, this lack of eye contact cost this business not only a sale but also any positive word of mouth marketing. Being a small, specialty store in my neighborhood my negative experience leads me to give less-than-positive reviews to my friends in the community – bad WOMM.

As communicators, we have a toolbox of behavioral skills we enlist to communicate effectively; of all the skills in our toolbox, eye communication is the most important. As I wrote in You’ve Got to be Believed to be Heard:

“Eye communication ranks first because it has the greatest impact in both one-on-one communications and large group communications. It literally connects mind to mind, since your eyes are the only part of your central nervous system that is in direct contact with another human being. When your eyes meet the eyes of another person, you make a First-Brain-to-First-Brain connection. When you fail to make that connection, it matters very little what you say.”

My point?

With the growth of the Web 2.0 generation – focusing on branding and marketing through social media et al – the significance of powerful, effective interpersonal communication often gets lost in the shuffle.

WOMM reflects the reputation of a brand – a reputation built on communication experiences. Interpersonal communication is still the basis of a reputation. And the primary communication skill that can make or break a positive communication experience (and thus, a reputation) is eye communication.

Remember your eye communication next time you’re trying to make a sale, or just sell yourself; your WOMM is on the line.

Categories: Books, Communication Skills, Twitter and Social Media, Web/Tech
Tags: Bert Decker, communicating, Communication Skills, communications, decker, Eye contact, success, WOMM, word of mouth marketing, You've Got To Be Believed To Be Heard

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